This new Aaron is more attractive than Emily, and Icouldn't look away. Maybe I'm actually Bi. No. I'm straight. Ishouldn't have these thoughts.I've always avoided thinking about other women that way. But the momentI saw Aaron with feminine features, it unlocked something in me. Was itOK to be turned on by women? What would it mean for my relationship withAaron if I was bi?I needed to confront this other woman.I tried to do a search on this 'Sierra' but I couldn't find her anywhere.Where would Aaron have met her so soon? I could only think of one place.On Sunday morning, I stormed into the grocery store looking for Sierra.I asked around for Sierra, and nobody knew who I was talking about,except one teenage girl cashier. She told me I wouldn't find Sierrahere, but knew someone who might know where to find her. She picked upthe intercom. "Ben, please come by register 6."A teenage boy came by. "Kathy?" he asked."Yes. How do you know who I am?" I recognize you from Aaron's. Then they announced second and I wasn'tsecond and I was about to throw up. What a waste. Why did I do this? Ihad just humiliated myself and spent a lot of money I didn't have fornothing. Then the owner said, "And our first prize winner....AnnikaSwensen!" What? Me? Omigod! I won! I started crying like Miss America andthey put a little tiara on my head and a sash that said, "Miss BottomsUp" (the name of the bar). Things wound down and it was close tomidnight. I was working my way through the crowd and many of my friendswere there. All 4 of the guys I was dating and sleeping with occasionallywere there. My mom and brother, Gary, and the girls from the office andmy boss were all there. Apparently there had been almost 300 peoplethere.It was a magic night. I had no more secrets. I was just me. I felt alive.I was on top of the world. I had a chance to talk to my boss briefly andtold him I made an appointment with a therapist. He said that counselingwas covered by our insurance. I asked if.
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